We sold our house today… after buying it last October. Most realtors and adults would agree that buying and selling a house in under a year is a bad idea. We agree (though we aren’t realtors… or even adults, really). But, life has happened, and it has happened quickly. Within 3 weeks we had a new job, a new house, and lots of new doctors. We jumped headfirst into being here, and got very very excited.
But today, as we walked through our house for the last time and signed the papers to sell. It hit home.
So much has happened since we moved in last October.
Not many people realize this but we got E’s diagnosis the Monday after we moved into our house. Does this give you an idea of what those walls held for us?
As the diagnosis and all that it meant became clear, there were many dark days spent there. Days when food didn’t have taste, and the rooms held the sounds of our sobs within their walls. Where our meticulously chosen, purposefully bright paint colors did nothing to lighten our downcast souls.
Though I love the teal we chose for our living room (we have it even in our new house), it colors the memories of the weeks (and months) of lamenting that followed receiving her diagnoses. However, that teal wall also colors the moment where Ben and I set in our minds the determination that no matter what, E WILL. We stood in front of that wall, put on our shirts and made a vow to her and to each other. Our belief that she can and WILL do so many great things started in that room.
It has seen slow dances, and our desperate clutches of grief.
It has heard loud music, many frantic calls with doctors, nurses, and therapists… and more than a billion belly laughs.
Ben became a baby food chef in the kitchen and I became a writer at the table.
The large patio doors allowed E to first notice the beauty of snow, and became a showcase for Dublin’s artistic nose smears.
The rooms hold her resonating squeals, our whispered worries, and many bedtime stories.
The bathrooms held lots of fear-filled, terribly sick baby moments and happy bathtub splashes.
It was where we found out our friends were pregnant (the coffee stain from excitement is there to this day), and where we realized we would never be again.
Those walls saw a lot of sorrow… but they saw even more hope.
Walking through that “old-new” empty house made me wonder what our “new” house will be a witness to… We have no idea what awaits us: what “WILL”s are in store or what hardships may come. But we know with absolute certainty that this house will be a front-row spectator to our life: our messy but so, so, SO beautiful life.